1. Your nips will hurt.
Yes. Not only will it be an adjustment when you start breastfeeding, but your nipples will be ultra sensitive months later. Wrapping your body in a towel after getting out of the shower? No way. If your baby paws at them when he is frantically trying to eat? Yow!
But that pain is nothing in comparison to the ache that you will feel in your heart when your eyes lock with your child as he feeds from your body. That kind of pain feels so good that you can’t imagine your life without it.
2. You will make a mess of your clothes.
While we’re on the subject of nips, let’s just say that they do nasty things to breastfeeding moms. Like leak constantly. I know! Ick. Each time you feed your child, the opposite breast will spring a leak. And bulky breast pads only make it that much more obvious that you are one of those mothers. The only saving grace is that it smells better than puke.
3. People will stare at you in public.
People will stare because everyone knows that breastfeeding moms are hippie moms. That’s right, breastfeeding moms are militant hippies who only feed their children in public to force their choice upon you. It’s not as if there aren’t toilet stalls where they could sit and feed their children from the breast. Or perhaps their vehicles in the parking lot? When it’s -20°C, they should just consider staying home.
4. You will be going against the grain.
Your best friend, your cousin’s wife, and even strangers who just randomly throw out their opinions will all try to dissuade you from breastfeeding. And if you are breastfeeding, they want to know when you’re going to get that baby on a bottle. You need to have that bottle so you can get your freedom back. If that means pumping, fine! But you really should be working towards that bottle. All babies should be on the bottle by six months.
The World Health Organization recommends that mothers breastfeed their children for at least six months. At six months, solid foods should be introduced in conjunction with the breast. Breast feeding should continue to two years and beyond.
Two years! That’s pure insanity. What the heck do they know?
5. It’s kinda gross.
Admit it. You think it is kind of disgusting to see one human being getting food from the body of another human being. Especially when the host body part is a boob. Since the dawn of time, womens’ breasts were meant to be fun bags, not a food supply. It’s not like a mother’s milk is brain food, or anything.
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